Where's your Jubilee Spirit you little Critter?

Parks.

I am not good in parks. I never liked parks as a child, and neither did my Mom. So I'm blaming this on the gene pool.  DAMN YOU GENE POOL! It's nearly impossible to avoid parks when one has a child, let alone THREE children.

Now Beer gardens? Beer gardens I can just about handle. My dad runs a lovely pub in Dorset, and has a beautiful beer garden out the back with bunnies and chickens and .... oh my sweet lord....  A PLAY AREA.

So picture the scene.... we're sat outside on a sunny Sunday afternoon (ie: today) cold beer in hand, kids are running around tending to the bunnies, checking out the baby chicks and dangling by one foot on the monkey bars. All good.

A SCREAM.

A SHRIEK.

My toughie 9 year old daughter comes running over with a swollen lip.

"THAT boy punched me in the FACE!" Waaaaaaaaaaaa *insert loud, girl scream here*

Me (Motherly instincts kicking in with wild eyes scanning the play park for horrible critter that dared hit my child)

" Which kid Tayla?? I only see that 2 year old little pip squeak in the Arsenal gear?"

T: "That's HIM mommmeeeee!!!" *insert more loud, girl screams here*

A 2 year old??? For Real??

At this point, Horrible little critter comes over to me and hits one of my other children on the back of the head with a ball, and then runs over to the swings to kick the 2 girls playing on it.

*insert 4 LOUD SCREAMING GIRLS HERE*

So, I did what any mother would do and chucked my drink in his face and threw him over the wall grabbed him as he ran past and basically threatened him with never EVER playing on the playground again because this park is NOT for rude children etc..... ya' know,  all that mom talk....

Horrible Little Critter: " SHUT YOUR MOUF YOU FATTIE, LITTLE SMELL HEAD"

I think my jaw actually HIT the park floor.

Tayla looked at me and all she could offer up as compensation was... " Go Mom, if Aunty Meg had been here she would've kicked his little ass"

Well that's it, you're on your own from now on honey, as you know all too well - I hate the park anyways, and THAT little incident has just added to my list of reasons to hate them even more.

Ps. Where is my toughie little sister when I need her??