I am not good in parks. I never liked parks as a child, and neither did my Mom. So I'm blaming this on the gene pool. DAMN YOU GENE POOL! It's nearly impossible to avoid parks when one has a child, let alone THREE children.
Now Beer gardens? Beer gardens I can just about handle. My dad runs a lovely pub in Dorset, and has a beautiful beer garden out the back with bunnies and chickens and .... oh my sweet lord.... A PLAY AREA.
So picture the scene.... we're sat outside on a sunny Sunday afternoon (ie: today) cold beer in hand, kids are running around tending to the bunnies, checking out the baby chicks and dangling by one foot on the monkey bars. All good.
My toughie 9 year old daughter comes running over with a swollen lip.
"THAT boy punched me in the FACE!" Waaaaaaaaaaaa *insert loud, girl scream here*
Me (Motherly instincts kicking in with wild eyes scanning the play park for horrible critter that dared hit my child)
" Which kid Tayla?? I only see that 2 year old little pip squeak in the Arsenal gear?"
T: "That's HIM mommmeeeee!!!" *insert more loud, girl screams here*
A 2 year old??? For Real??
At this point, Horrible little critter comes over to me and hits one of my other children on the back of the head with a ball, and then runs over to the swings to kick the 2 girls playing on it.
*insert 4 LOUD SCREAMING GIRLS HERE*
So, I did what any mother would do and
Horrible Little Critter: " SHUT YOUR MOUF YOU FATTIE, LITTLE SMELL HEAD"
I think my jaw actually HIT the park floor.
Tayla looked at me and all she could offer up as compensation was... " Go Mom, if Aunty Meg had been here she would've kicked his little ass"
Well that's it, you're on your own from now on honey, as you know all too well - I hate the park anyways, and THAT little incident has just added to my list of reasons to hate them even more.
Ps. Where is my toughie little sister when I need her??